I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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