You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize