okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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