in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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