What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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