I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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