Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
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