yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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