Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
