Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
