i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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