He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
