too bad you live with your parents still
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
