Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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