RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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