i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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