I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
is it fun? or sober?
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