Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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