I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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