Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
