I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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