Your face is a jimmy john
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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