____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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