Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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