It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
