Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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