1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
sex in a hospital.. check
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
