We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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