There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
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Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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