Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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