So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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