That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
