I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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