I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
