you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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