I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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