I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
