i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
