Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
