i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
