This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
