Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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