she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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