this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize