Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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