i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
