It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she pinky promised me she was 18
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
