Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
