At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
