OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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