I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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