i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How external is "for external use only"?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
