Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
