You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
