Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
