I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
